Cultivating the art of good listening is essential if we are ever to enjoy meaningful and effective communication with others. Sincerely taking the time to reflect upon what someone is telling you and sincerely seeking to understand their message is critical.

It is actually quite shocking how many individuals think they are listening to what someone is saying, when in fact they are just using the person’s words to launch their own opinions. This often gives rise to misunderstandings and even fights.

The sad truth is, most of us picked up horrible listening habits in our earlier years, and we haven’t learned an effective strategy for breaking these bad, relationship compromising habits. Here are some of the things that most of us do habitually:

* We let the other person go on talking while we just “blank out” and think about our own agendas.

* We become easily distracted and break our attention at the sign of any little external thing.

* We start judging what the person is saying, running their words through our own filters and only thinking about how we’re going to respond.

* We assume that we “know where the person is going with this” and simply interrupt them for the sake of saving time.

* We process what the person is saying in terms of whether or not we agree with it, instead of truly seeking to understand where the speaker is coming from.

* We allow our own personal anxiety to draw us to irrational conclusions about what is being said, often putting ourselves in a defensive stance even though what the person is saying does not warrant such behavior.

* We simply become impatient and just want to butt in and talk.

If any of these apply to you, you are not alone. These are without question the most common reasons for a gross lack of understanding when it comes to the way we communicate with each other. The first step to changing these habits is to simply become aware of them. Be honest with yourself. After you’ve become aware that you do these things, there are a few steps you can take to begin the process of becoming a better listener.

1. Apply good old self-discipline. Make the most concerted possible effort you can to stay focused on the message that the speaker is trying to relay to you. Avoid distractions to the very best of your ability.

2. Pay attention to the nonverbal cues the speaker is giving you. Pay attention to their eye contact, hand gestures, etc. and do your best to fully engage yourself in their world. You can even try mimicking their posture and tempo, as this will make you feel more connected to them, and vice-versa.

3. Don’t block out things you don’t want to hear. Process as much of what they are saying as you possibly can.

4. Don’t jump to conclusions. Avoid making assumptions about the speaker’s motives. Do NOT interrupt, even if they seem to be rambling. Just listen. Relax and listen.

5. Engage yourself in his or her world. When they have finished saying something, don’t interject with your own thoughts and opinions. Ask questions and encourage him or her to talk even more!

6. Instead of assuming you know what’s been said, if there could be more than one meaning, don’t hesitate to ask the speaker to clarify. This can go a long way toward preventing nasty disputes.

As with any new skill, effective listening takes time to master, but the payoffs are well worth the time and effort you invest. The joy you will get out of your relationships will soar to new heights. People will fall in love with you and think the world of you. And you might just find that you are being listened to a lot more yourself!

Does just the thought of addressing a large crowd make your blood pressure go up a little… or maybe even a lot? You aren’t alone. We certainly weren’t born with a microphone in our hands and a thousand eyeballs and ears fixed on us. This is a learned skill. And until you’ve mastered the skill, the concept of public speaking may just scare the heck out of you. Imagine yourself on stage right now, about to talk to hundreds of men and women. What is happening to your body?

* Are your legs shaking?
* Are your hands trembling?
* Is your throat drying up and constricting?
* Are you at a loss for words?
* Are you having difficulty breathing? Thinking?
* Are your guts turning?

These are actually common physiological responses of people who are new to public speaking. For many, it can feel like a fate worse than death. That should provide you with some comfort, though, knowing that your fears are actually extremely common among most, if not all public speakers… initially, anyway. In fact, just about every single one of the world’s great speakers were terrified out of their minds when they first began. But they did what they had to do in order to get over it and get the job done. They learned new skills and developed their own personal power. You’ll need to do the same.

In 3, 2, 1… You’re On! OH NO… Now What?

If you’re fully prepared, you should be able to hold your audience spellbound when the moment of truth arrives. But how do you become prepared? You know your crowd. Study your demographic. Who is your audience? A little homework goes a long way.

You’ll want to learn the average age group, income and education levels, marital status… you know, standard demographic profiling. Once you know who you’re talking to, discovering the best way of delivering your message will become much easier to do. You can use the right kind of words, the right tonality, and the right body language and energy levels to your advantage.

No matter who your audience is, however, one art you will most definitely need to cultivate is the art of keeping good, solid, and meaningful eye contact with them. No other practice will engage them more, make them feel more comfortable with you, and have them hanging on every word you have to say than deep, sincere eye contact.

Encourage crowd participation, when appropriate. Ask them questions, especially those that begin in “Have you ever,” “Do you ever,” and “Have you ever noticed.” Tony Robbins asks the audience if they agree with him. He’ll often say something along the lines of “If you’ve ever done this, raise your hand and say ‘I’.” or “Does this make sense to you, yes or no?”

Organizing Your Speech

Good organization is a virtue possessed by all highly effective speakers. The beginning needs to hook them; the middle needs to captivate, educate, and entertain them; and the end needs to inspire them in a game-changing way. You want to get into their psychologies right away. You want them engaged, and totally loving you right from the start. The end of the speech should be designed to summarize the message that was shared and inspire the audience to either act upon the information presented or simply to reflect upon it for a long time to come.

Obviously, most of your time will be spent somewhere on the actual body of the speech. This will be where you actually put the most focus on delivering a well-researched, well-delivered, and highly educational presentation.

Getting Yourself Prepared

Before you ever step foot on stage, you’re going to need to eat, breathe, drink, and dream about your presentation. Writing, revising, rehearsing, visualizing, and cultivating unstoppable self-confidence will become commonplace for you. You will do these things around the clock. You will commit them to your subconscious. And you will be able to give a stellar speech even in your sleep! The speakers who are the most inspirational, motivational, educational, and generally effective are all so well-prepared that by the time they first step foot on stage, they’ve already done it a thousand times in their minds… flawlessly!

The more highly prepared you are, the more riveting and successful of a speaker you will be. Don’t just give a speech. Become a speaker. Preparation is everything. It’s the only thing. Deliver your message with confidence, authority, humor, and compassion. For the wonderful experience, your audience will thank you heartily.

When it comes to both your family life and your professional life, the importance of effective team building simply cannot be overstated. Focusing on the welfare and productivity of the entire group can have many powerful benefits. This article will discuss some of these benefits, as well as offer some great team building tips.

Team Defined:

A team is essentially a group of individuals with a singular objective. Their efforts are concerted and organized. Each member of the team has a very specific and distinct role in seeing that this goal is achieved. The morale of the team is such that the desire and commitment to accomplish the goal is heightened. The clearer the understanding of the objective is, and the stronger each individual teammate’s willingness to “give it their all” is, the more likely the goal is to be reached at a high level.

Improving Teamwork – How to do it Effectively:

A strong focus on the objective is critical. Ensuring that everyone knows what success looks like is paramount to effective team building. If you don’t know what the target is, you and your team are unlikely to hit it. Here are 3 of the most important tips for designing a goal-achieving powerhouse of a team:

1. Get crystal clear on each objective. Again, if no clear goal is defined, then nobody will know what all the effort is for, and will likely produce less than stellar results.

2. Ensure that the goal actually inspires team members to be at their best. Boring goals = bored teammates.

3. Cultivate a spirit of positivity and power. Do not allow your team to become doubtful or fearful.

When the goal is well-defined and worth achieving, and all team members are excited and up for the challenge, then an effective strategy must be laid out. Believe it or not, that’s usually the easy part! There are a few different kinds of teams, including:

* An individual. This is generally someone who is very skilled, disciplined, and passionate. They are typically quite coachable and will produce positive results more often than not.

* A small team. This type of team will often consist of 2-10 individuals who are compelled by a singular vision. This type of team will rely very heavily upon one another because one individual mistake can have huge consequences, as there is less of a buffer system than there is in a large team. Small stones can leave huge ripples in a small team environment. For this reason, the team leader must be keen to any negative shifts in personality or performance. He or she will usually need to take a more “hands-on” approach to management.

* Team islands. This type of team environment actually consists of multiple mini-teams. The teams all work independent of each other, but often with the same overall goal in mind. These are usually referred to as “departments,” and will be overseen by department managers.

* Large teams. These are actually the easiest of all teams to run because even the smallest results produced by each individual member can have monumental effectiveness. It’s almost like a giant, self-running, self-correcting machine. In this type of team environment, any new additions to the team are usually nudged in the right direction by “business as usual” and are generally pretty quick to adopt the core beliefs, values, and agendas of the team.

Any group of individuals working together to attain a singular objective can be accurately called a team. It is the team leader’s responsibility to keep both morale and performance at the highest possible level. It is through effective leadership that organizations become powerful, projects become exciting, and fulfillment becomes fuel for even greater progress.

Feeling like your life really means something can be one of the most profound personal experiences you can have. This sense of purpose can take your happiness, security, and confidence to new heights. And the greatest part is that just about anything can cause you to feel important and needed, if you just take the time to focus upon and appreciate it.

Perhaps you’re an amazing parent, a top-notch professional, a valued team member, or a devoted volunteer. As long as you believe that you are somehow touching lives and/or making the world a better place, even if only in a small way, you’ve got all the reason in the world to feel important and special.

With true purpose in your life, you may just find yourself wanting to get out of bed a little bit earlier each day and going to bed a little later each night. You’ll likely know who you are, where you’re going, and how wonderful it will be when you get there! You won’t be looking for external forces to validate you as a person. You will feel secure and at ease in most situations.

Generally speaking, young adults seem more apt to cultivate a sense of purpose than do older individuals. This is quite possibly due to the fact that they’re really having fun and enjoying their lives. They’re dating, going to school, starting new careers, and are actively seeking purpose. Seek and you shall find, right?

As we age, however, we tend to become more uncertain, often second-guessing ourselves and demonstrating an almost hyper-sensitivity to the decisions we make. It could be that the kids have left the home (flew the coop, as they say) and you don’t feel quite as needed. Divorce, menopause, retirement, and aging in general can all take a massive toll on an individual’s self-worth and sense of meaning.

However, it is important to realize that purpose can be developed. It can be redeveloped. And you are never too old to reinvent yourself in some way. It can be done. You can do it. And here are some ways how:

• Get yourself a fun new hobby. Gardening, model-building, classic car restoration. Anything that excites you.
• Join some type of social club. Meeting new people is fun at any age. You can engage in conversation and do all kinds of fun things with like-minded individuals.
• Begin an exercise routine. Keep your body alive, invigorated, healthy, attractive, and feeling wonderful. Swimming is always a great, fun way to do this.
• Volunteer your time to those in need. This is where a great sense of contribution can really make you feel alive and good about yourself.
• Never stop parenting. Despite what you may believe, your kids (and/or grandkids) will always love and need you.
• Go back to work, if you’d like.
• Strike up conversations with strangers. Be a good listener, a good friend.

Remember, the world is full of billions of people at all stages of life. You can always find people who can relate to you, and to whom you can relate. And if you happen to be single, don’t rule out the possibility of dating again. Love and excitement are never bad things.

Do You Really Know What Your Life Is About?

Are your objectives well-defined? Finding your “center” and enjoying deep personal fulfillment comes down to 7 basic components of your life. These are your physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, economic, professional, and social lives. Designing your own personal constitution, or “mission statement,” is essential for knowing which actions to take in your life. It’s like an “X marks the spot” on a map. You need to know where the treasure is!

When you’ve got your mission statement in place, you are able to base all of your decisions around how aligned they are with your deepest values. There is immense power in this. To design your own personal constitution, answer the following questions:

* What is the purpose of my life? What am I here to be and do?

* What do I stand for? What are my values?

* Which of these values am I NEVER willing to compromise for ANY reason?

* What kind of person am I when nobody else is looking?

* What do I really want to contribute, and to what or whom?

* What do I believe about my creator? Why have I been blessed with this life?

* Who do I love? How can I prove it on an ongoing basis?

* How do I intend to earn my living? What kind of value to I want to add?

* How do I intend to maximize my fulfillment? How can I live my best life consistently?

The answers to these questions will become key factors in developing your own personal mission statement. In fact, it can be both extremely therapeutic and refreshingly eye-opening to take this kind of time to reflect on your own beliefs, values, and merits. Additionally, it will help you to set your goals and know that your goals are not in conflict with who you are as a person. This will enable you to enjoy maximum contribution, joy, and effectiveness.

Additionally, it is extremely important to value your physical body. Good health breeds good feelings and greater positive actions. Fill your heart with love and develop strong, meaningful relationships. Don’t forget to read a book every now and then. Continuously feeding your mind will expand your understanding, as well as your opportunities. Give of yourself. This is essential for spiritual fulfillment.

I very strongly urge you to develop a personal constitution of your own. A thoughtfully prepared mission statement will serve as a guide to keep your thoughts and actions in tune with your deepest self. Your decision-making will be purposeful, deliberate, and bold. This is true even for the tough decisions.

It is my sincerest wish that you take good care of yourself. Fulfillment, happiness, connection, productivity, creativity, exceptional health, meaningful contribution, and the deepest love are all yours for the taking. I hope you experience all of these wonderful things consistently and forever. Your mission statement is a great place to begin.